Week 2 Day 4

Damn! I was doing so well at keeping up with this daily! Being at the hospital all day and then having the babies at night doesn't leave me with much time! Well, I really haven't been very careful with my food, but then again, I've been too busy to actually eat too much!!  I was so terrified when they decided Christi would have to have a c-section. It seems like everything about this pregnancy has just gone from bad to worse! Then they take him away to NICU! And he's still there! They talked about him taking too long to start breathing and of course I'm scared to death. Of course I couldn't show any signs of being worried because all this has been Christi's worst nightmare for the past 6 months. I had to make sure she saw I wasn't worried because that's the only way she would feel even close to ok. Pretending to be calm and unconcerned is truly exhausting! Fortunately, he's doing so much better and we can actually breathe easier. Now, I still have the girls with me but at least I'm not worrying about that middle of the night call! I will definitely be focusing a little better! 

Week 2 Day 1

I guess it's now 36 weeks instead of 37. To actually hit my goal by my birthday, which is where the 37 weeks came from, I need to lose 2.72 pounds a week. I know that's not realistic for every single week but if I work really hard and pay attention to what I'm doing I'll be a hell of a lot closer than I am now! And most importantly, I'll be a hell of a lot healthier. I'm spending this week really focusing on balancing out my food choices. Yes, I'm getting plenty of walking in but I'm not really concerning myself too much with heavy exercise. Next week, I'll be starting the ChaLean Extreme program and I'm determined to be committed to it daily. I really think it's going to be a great program for me. 
I was so proud of myself yesterday. We decided to have Subway for dinner. For years, I have always gotten the exact same sandwich. The Italian BMT with pickles, black olives, banana peppers, and oil and vinegar. Oh, and extra cheese! Yesterday I had the Subway Club with Pepper Jack cheese(not extra), lettuce, bell pepper, pickles, black olives, banana peppers, and EXTRA LIGHT on the vinegar and oil. This was huge for me. Took me almost 10 minutes to make the decision. And you know what? It was a great sandwich!  Slowly but surely I'm heading in the right direction! Maybe next time I'll leave off the vinegar and oil. Then next time leave off the cheese. Wait, lets get real...I'm not leaving off the cheese!! 

Week 1 Day 7

I've now completed my first week as a "blogger"!  Who would have thought just writing things down every day could make me feel better and clear my head! Uhmm, millions of people for a few hundred years???
So, Today was pretty good. I spent most of it helping Christi get the house "cleaned up" so it'll be ready for bringing home the baby.  I decided since I know this is gonna be a long hard week I'd take it easy this weekend. Probably should have done more but that's life! 
I'm feeling really good. Making my first mini goal with time to spare has given me a positive feeling. Next goal will be just as fabulous. I just know it will!!  I'll try to get in a few days at the gym but no promises. Work days are gonna be long enough as it is since I'll be taking Wednesday off! 
Onward to Week 2!  14 pounds til my next photo update and 20 pounds to my next mini goal!!! 

Week 1 Day 6

Well, I'll be damned! So yesterday I had that psychological "I feel good, I feel light" thing going on...
 So, I stepped on the scale this morning.....terror..fear... and what do you know...Lost 2.4 pounds!! Ok, ok...so maybe the people who created this system do know a little more than me!  So, I'm gonna work it the way it was designed, with a few little tweaks. More protein, less carbs, not the full 1600 calories. And eating some exercise calories as well. That's still kind of hard for me to wrap my brain around. I understand it, but that inner voice still keeps saying,"Why'd you bother working off those calories"? Because I'm creating a stronger body. A body with more muscle and less fat. The pounds will take care of themselves!! 
Scott brought over the heavier weights so I'm really gonna focus on doing the ChaLean Extreme. 
I have to remember not to take this success lightly! I've now lost 20 pounds and that's great, but I can't get comfortable with that. I've still got 100 pounds to go. That's always been my downfall. I lose some...get way too confident, say "I got this! No problem".... and in no time it's all back! I refuse to do this again! I was born fat. I've lived over half my lifetime fat. I will not live the rest of the time I have on this planet fat! Period! 

Week 1- Day 5

I've increased my calorie goal to 1500 for 2 days now. I haven't made it but I've definitely upped my intake and I have to say I do feel better.
Aside from feeling more energetic, I feel...how do I explain this? Have you ever gotten up one morning and just felt "lighter"? I know I didn't just suddenly lose 20 pounds overnight but that's kinda what it feels like! I'm sure the extra energy has something to do with it. I forced myself to NOT get on the scale this morning simply because I wanted to hold onto this feeling all day!  
Yes I get on the scale every morning. I know I can't go by what it says day to day, but it's like a morning reminder of what I'm trying to do. If it's a little lower than the day before it makes me feel positive and ready to push even more to make it keep happening. If it's a little higher, it makes me focus a little more that day on what I'm doing. Just a psychological trick I guess! This morning I decided I didn't care what it said. The only important thing today was the great way I felt! I already know this weekend isn't going to be my best weigh in, so I'll just do my best to eat right and stay as active as possible. Shouldn't be a problem considering I'll be doing yard work with the babies and 3 dogs tomorrow, and Sunday I'll be at their house helping get things "ready for the new baby to come home"!!! 
Oh, since everything is upside down and hectic right now, I've decided to wait until next Thursday or Friday to start the ChaLean program formally. By then things will be settled down some and I'll be able to make sure I have time scheduled daily

Week 1 Day 4

I am completely exhausted! I did no official exercise today but I feel like I did them all! Spent the past 8 hours playing with the grandkids and they have worn me out! According to my pedometer I walked over 5 miles today doing just 'life'! I do feel pretty good though! I think eating better today and yesterday helped. Son-in-law forgot to bring the weights but to be honest I'm not that upset. The ChaLean program busted my ass using just the 3 pounders! I know I need more weight to be really effective and I've actually decided to treat this as an 'introductory period'. When I get the other weights I'm going to start over with Day 1 and do the whole thing right! That's the point right? I have 2 days before I officially log my weight again. Not sure it's going to be any different though. Who knows....maybe my body will surprise me!! Doesn't happen often, but it has happened!!!

Week 1-Day 3-New plan

I guess I'm not really making a new plan so much as revising and adjusting it. I've been thinking alot about the whole question of how many calories and how much exercise. I have no issues with the exercise but I've been making sure I only eat about 1200 to 1300 calories a day. Total. First few weeks? Great! Now? Weight loss has been dragging and so have I.  I literally have to force myself up in the morning after getting plenty of sleep. But I haven't been sleeping very well either and that's unheard of for me! It's taking me close to an hour to actually get myself up and that's ridiculous. I go to work and within an hour I feel like I've been there half the day and when I get home I just want to collapse. I don't even feel enough energy to wash some dishes! 
So, I'm taking the advise of several people and upping my calories. I really think I'm just not getting enough nourishment. Hopefully, I'll start feeling better soon and  I'll be right back on track. I hate that I joined a group challenge at this point and 2 other people are depending on me doing my best. It is a summer long challenge though, so hope they understand that this first week may not be my best!  
Other than that, it's been a pretty good day. When I stopped for coffee this morning the girl behind the counter told me there was something different about me today. That I just looked different. It's not recognizing the weight loss but in a way it is! I'll take it!!!

Week 1- Day 2

Today was definitely a good day! Just doing my day to day walking I logged 3 miles on my pedometer. Not too shabby!  I made it to they gym this morning. Was running a little behind schedule so I just did 20 minutes on the treadmill but that was enough to get the blood flowing for the day! 
And now...for my favorite part of the day.....
Today I started ChaLean Extreme! I only have 3 pound weights but I decided that might be a good thing for my first try just to get an idea of what I was getting into.. 
I absolutely loved it!  I even did the pushups! On my knees of course but still.... I hate pushups!
I got all my measurements recorded last night so I can check my progress. That had me in tears for a while. Literally, I just sat down in the bathroom and cried.  But, I reminded myself, it's not the first time I've been this big. Then I stood up, looked in the mirror and said to myself(out loud), This WILL be the last time you EVER let yourself go like this! I think Dave was looking up psychiatrists in the phone book!!!
Seriously...Dave is so awesome! He's so incredibly supportive. I know if he was physically able he'd be in there working out with me! Maybe someday. 

Week 1- Day 1

Today was just one of those days! Stayed up too late last night (but so worth it to spend time with my family) so getting up in time to go to the gym was not gonna happen! Got to work and realized it was a 'bad digestion' day. Spent half the day running back and forth to the bathroom! Then, to top it all off, something happened that could only happen to me! I flushed my pedometer down the toilet! Unreal! So, I now have a new pedometer which I will faithfully wear daily and remember to remove from waistband before lowering said waistband! Hopefully, tomorrow will bring a more positively balanced day! 

53 Days in...1st day of blogging

I've never done this before. My experiences and feelings have always been something I've kept to myself. I'm thinking now that maybe that's not such a good thing. I keep starting over. I do great for a week or so, then get frustrated and slack off. It's my intention to post here daily about how I've done that day with my goals, how I feel about my progress, and hopefully I'll start having more and more positive, successful days. I don't know if anyone will read this but I guess it really doesn't matter. It's here for my mental health more than anything! Now, without further ado, It's time to start over...for the last time!